what do we fear

Loss. Mourning.
What is left behind and lingering
as reminders tempt into intractible corners,
into desolate landscapes,
underground pits where monsters are kept.
And then we hear
we are supposed to be sad leaving.
In a simple room with a stage
people gather to watch and listen
as the future is invoked,
call it art or antenna,
oblivion behind closed eyes,
converging sound strings,
grasping at whatever rhythm or melody
teased out of the ether of the assumed
higher self,
the puppet dancing
as grace and warning.

a single screen among infinite others

Generally my online time is spent following news and politics. I am worried about the state of the world and especially how American power contributes to this state of fear. The more one knows the worse things seem. Yet life keeps going. A few more beers quell the anxiety and rev up the chemical pleasure center I've spent so much of my life fine tuning. An unsustainable response to an unsustainable society maintains a tenative balance. As above, so below.
I don't really like attention, yet don't mind it from a distance or in low doses. I understand this is a very unamerican attribute and probably bad for the economy. Perhaps it could be argued I am selfish for not wanting to occupy time in your mind, selfish because writing is a tool for my own evolution, an opportunity to integrate and expand into new possibilities. I am I and you are you. Individuals with hearts and minds. This always has to be balanced with the larger picture.

end times

Gangs. Turmoil. The destruction of the natural world. (We are supposed to take this causally.) War and war profiteering. Torture disease starvation epidemic distaster. Volcano earthquake mudslide flood hurricane tornado sunami fire serial killer kidnapper rapist pedophile child-porn-peddling terrorist religious-fanatic propagandist fascist communist anarchist laisse-faire capitalist libertarian totalitarian dictatorial monarchy past the tipping point insurrection revolution overthrow coup oligarch patriarch nepotistic sadistic cannibalistic masacistic nihilistic narcasistic pessimistic anthropromorphic misogynistic egalitarian hyperbolic rhetoric cascade and creshendo of apocalyptic reverberation.

hearts break
it is hard to say why
not ignorance
emotional dissonance
blitzkrieg the sky

the sunrise lullaby
the ungrateful surprise
the sunset parapet
apprehending good-bye

a complacent lie
asking why
within public skies

christened in on the proprietary fines

camouflage lines to the border
of our subdermal minds
held enrapt in time
mirrored sublime
in the film medium
mentioned extemporaniously
into invention
what he felt worthy of attention
within the divided subsection.

poem 4

the daylight pretended to be the end of something
carrying over and robbing the town blind
like a lover that stays the night
but is never seen again.
She was punctuating something real and familiar
tempting to be taken for granted.
The glow though reminded of that small part of the whole
through which the whole could be seen and kept in focus.
The intellectual access point for something spirit stirring
emotion saturated
releasing neurotransmitters
with receptors receiving each moment of life
beating the hand to the drum to the heart,
attacking everything seeking to hold us back
from genuine discovery
presence of mind
cognizant interpretations of instinct
interpenetrating and seeking meaning
to retain it and avoid emptiness
and disillusionment.
She was centered on a whole network of lies.
Their words
a film presented to distract
to send astray
to indite the individual with his impotence
to influence what he struggles even
to pay attention.
Looking up a mountain or down a long road
one can't be pessemistic about the journey
though one should be.
A moment of blessing
scenerios appropriate to teaching and learning
faculties we feared acknowledgeing
dreams and mysticism are the closest things we have.

the code word is go out of your mind

in lew of so many commandments
the downtroden express train recover
symplex disease running down the tracks
of your next reincarnation
gone and forgotten
gone like your best friend's sweater
at the party neither of you
we're invited to.

Poem 2

what does this thing think it is
a magic trick stuffed in a hat
littered with diseased clothing
and the foul remains
of his heart's last desire.
at best it was a last minute attempt
to do something right with his life
after fucking up every oportunity
that ever presented itself.
Comical to believe these are the lives
we are supposed to lead
confronted with so much greatness on all sides
and endless futile distractions between them.
Their love and ours commingling in an ocean
beyond our choosing
where we are washed in it
and try to talk like we have it figured out.

Poem 1

heartless
sinister
sinking
in belief
gone burning the flag
on independence day
like the rest of us
alone when together
gathering in the cold shoulders
and grown-up reminders
of autonomy and easy individuality
transfixed
with reaped rewards
of attention well spent
bent around the bend
contend with the contentious
concern yourself with the tinglings
of consciousness commingled
yet apart from that part
capable of dieing.